Crossover Celebrity Jeoprady
by Night Hunter MGS
Summary: Once again, it's time for Sesshomaru-sama to torture poor, hapless gameshow contestants on the greatest mockery to televised programming known to man. This episode, Kuwabara, Vegita, and Clover.
1. Episode 1: Luanch, Ranma, and Argo

Foreword: God save me from all of the twisted, dark ideas running rampant through my mind. This story is inspired by Domon Kasshu's "Anime Celebrity Jeopardy", which you can find at .

Disclaimer: Blood is red, Bruises are blue, I no own, So you no sue.

Crossover Celebrity Jeopardy By Night Hunter MGS

First Episode: Launch, Ranma, and Argo Gulski 

Jaken: From the filthy human city of Tokyo-3, it's Crossover Celebrity Jeopardy! And now, your game show host, the magnificent, the one, the only…

(Heero Yuy steps out from behind the stage and points a P-120 at Jaken's wrinkled forehead.)

Jaken: (sweatdrops nervously) Eh, heh, heh… anyway, here's Shessomaru-sama!!! (runs away from Heero shrieking like a little girl.)

Heero: (smirking) Mission… accomplished. (steps back behind the stage)

(Shessomaru steps out onto the sound stage)

Shessomaru: (arrogantly) Let's bring out the contestants, although I really don't care. Our first competitor is the pathetically docile yet at times delightfully psychotic victim of a severe split personality, you have my permission to give a big hand for Launch from the anime series Dragonball.

(Dark-haired Launch is standing behind her podium peacefully with an obliviously happy grin on her face.)

Launch: Oh, my. This will be ever so much fun! (Shessomaru rolls his eyes, then tosses a bag full of pepper at her. Pepper sprays everywhere and Launch sneezes, turning into blond Launch.) WHO THE HELL SIGNED ME UP FOR THIS STUPID THING?! IF IT WAS THAT DIRTY OLD MAN ROSHI, I SWEAR THAT I'LL RIP OFF HIS HEAD AND SHOVE IT DOWN THE BLOODY STUMP OF HIS FOOL NECK!!!!!

Shessomaru: (smirking) Oh yes that's MUCH better. Launch will be playing for both Homemaker's Weekly AND the National Rifle Association. Now for our second player, although even I, the great Shessomaru, can not figure out what the directors were smoking when they invited this player to be on the show. That's right, it's everybody's, or at least everybody without any intelligence or class which includes the entire human race, favorite cross-dressing martial artist, Ranma Saotome.

(Ranma stands there frantically trying to hide a bra inside his shirt.)

Ranma: W-who are you calling a cross-dresser?! NOT ME!!!!

Shessomaru: Whatever, as if I really give a damn about the odd habits of you foolish mortals. Anyway, he'll be playing for the Victims of Home cooked Biological Hazards fund, a noble cause for you humans with your weak constitutions.

Ranma: Have you TRIED Akane's cooking?

Shessomaru: … Good point. And for our last contestant, hailing from Neo-Russia and the G Gundam series, the imposing but sadly sentimental Argo Gulski.

(Argo just stands there doing nothing and saying nothing.)

Shessomaru: I must admit Mr. Gulski, I'm surprised that a human of your relative intellect accepted our invitation.

Argo: (emotionlessly) I pissed off Natasha. It was either be humiliated here or sleep on the couch for a month. You'd be amazed at what she can do with that riding crop.

Ranma: Gyahhh!!! Much, MUCH more information then I needed to know!!!

Launch: Buwahhahahaha!!!! I like you, big guy! Meet me in the back lot later.

Shessomaru: (rolling eyes) How wonderful. Now, if we can get on to business so that we can finish this and I can slaughter the producers for talking me into this job… Anyway, Argo will be playing for the Playboy Mansion.

(Chibodee Crockett shakes his head in the audience.)

Chibodee: It's ALWAYS the quiet ones.

Shessomaru: (sighs) I'll have to remember to maim Jaken later to relieve some stress. Anyway, let's meet their personal cheering sections. Goku, Krillan, and Bulma all showed up to cheer for Launch, but ran like hell when she sneezed. I don't know what their problem is. Personally, I LIKE it when she's an ultra-violent psychotic. Now, in Mr. Saotome's section, are Kasumi, Nabiki, and Soun Tendo as well as Genma and Nodoka Saotome. The rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew showed up, but our insurance company refused to pay for the damages, so they were turned away at the door.

Ranma: Thank you Kami-sama! No violent tomboy, stupid lost pig, blind duck, or old ghoul! Peace at last!

Shessomaru: Indeed, however there was one member of your cheery little group that I just COULDN'T help but let in.

Ranma: Please no. Not…

(Ranma's suddenly drenched in water and a shriveled little bundle is suddenly attached to the red head's chest.)

Happousai: SWEETO!!!!!!

Ranma-chan: Whatever god, goddess, or other deity I offended somehow or another, I am so sorry. SO WOULD YA' GET THIS LITTLE FREAK OFFA ME ALREADY?!?!!!

Shessomaru: I'm so glad to see that I was correct in assuming that the perverted old gnome would provide some entertainment value. Anyway, while MISS Saotome is busy inventing new ways to castrate someone with your bare hands, let's meet Argo's cheering section. Mr. Crockett of Neo-America has already made his presence known, and accompanying him is his personal harem…

(Shirley and the girls are suddenly standing behind Shessomaru with a variety of sharp, pointy objects. Looking at the sudden group of angry women, Ranma-chan thinks twice before shrugging and pouring hot water over her head.)

Shirley: Hey, dog boy. Do you need to get neutered? Keep it up and we'll be MORE than happy to oblige you.

Shessomaru: (sweatdrops) Er, as I was saying, with Chibodee in Argo's cheering section are his beautiful, brave, and intelligent Gundam crew. Also here is renowned hard-ass Russian warden, Natasha.

Natasha: ARGO! If you don't win, then I swear I'll detonate the bomb!

Chibodee: But you took Argo's bomb off ages ago, and I don't see him wearing it.

Natasha: It's a smaller version of the bomb Argo was forced to wear during the Gundam fight, which is concealed underneath his clothing.

Chibodee: Really? Where?

(Natasha grins evilly and glances at Chibodee's crotch with a significant glare.)

Chibodee: (pales and voice starts shaking) Oh.

Ranma: (whispering to Argo) What did you do to make that chick THAT mad at you?

Argo: As the Americans are fond of saying, I plead the Fifth Amendment.

Shessomaru: We are starting this game RIGHT NOW. I have places to be, villages to terrorize, and worthless little brothers to kill. Now, the categories are: Swear Words, Will This Hurt?, Cooking…. Who put that one in there? Alright, moving right along… Weapons, Countries That Sound Like Uruguay….

Ranma: (offended) I am NOT gay! Those fan fictions about Ryouga and me are slander, pure and simple!

Shessomaru: I'm sure you're right Mr. Saotome, although it would be hard for something written to be considered slander because… Never mind, I forgot who I'm talking to.

Ranma: What's THAT supposed to mean?!

Shessomaru: Nothing at all. And the final two categories are Green-Haired Women and Name That Laugh. After several hours, Argo Gulski finally picked the short straw, so the board is his. Mr. Gulski?

(Argo just stands there saying nothing.)

Shessomaru: Mr. Gulski, you need to pick a question.

Natasha: ARGO!!! Green Haired Women for three hundred!!!

Shessomaru: Miss, may I remind you that the audience is not permitted to…

Argo: For God's sake, don't argue with her, just do as she says.

Shessomaru: Sigh… Very well. For three hundred dollars, this green haired Gundam crew chief is sometimes referred to as the queen bitch of G Gundam.

Ranma: Why are you not reading from the cue cards?

Shessomaru: I'm making the questions up, it's more fun this way. Now shut up, foolish mortal. Mr. Gulski, please answer the question.

Argo: …..

Natasha:(brushes her green hair out of her eyes) Argo! Why don't you answer already?!

Argo: Because if I do, you won't let me into the bedroom for at least a couple of years.

Chibodee: Man and they accuse ME of thinking about nothing but sex.

Buzz

Shessomaru: Time's up. For my own safety however, we will not be revealing the answer. Mr. Gulski, the board is still…

(Argo levels a glare at Shessomaru so venomous that he actually becomes nervous.)

Shessomaru: Err.. As I was saying, Mr. Saotome, it's your turn. How about Swear Words for a hundred… oh, and by the way, your father promised that you'd marry the girl that's always following me around for a jug of good sake.

Ranma: He did WHAT?!?!! PANDA NO BAKA!!!! (Begins putting Genma into incredible amounts of pain) You dirty, cheating, fat, $U&$J&TTHRT!!!!

Shessomaru: Well, I think that should do it for swear words. Congratulations Mr. Saotome, you've won a hundred dollars.

Ranma: (continuing to beat Genma) $#Y&Y$ stupid, greedy, $#$YBJ FH&I!!!

Shessomaru: That's enough, Mr. Saotome.

Ranma: $&$#Y$&&( **)Y$ &**RHW T$&$!!!!

Shessomaru: That's it. Ms. Launch, the board is yours now.

Launch: Gee, thanks EVER so much. Weapons for five hundred, right now!!!

Shessomaru: Very well, what is the weapon used by Gourry Gaberiev in Slayers?

Launch: H&K .450 semi-automatic!

Shessomaru: No, it's...

Launch: .50 cal Desert Eagle!

Shessomaru: Not at all, it's...

Launch: Browning .25 carbine!

Shessomaru: NO! The answer is the Sword of Light!

Launch:(glares evilly at Shessomaru) How 'bout an M-6 incinerary?

(Launch holds up a grenade menacingly. Shessomaru sweatdrops.)

Shessomaru: Errr, Mr. Saotome, the board is yours again I think.

(Ranma finishes tying Genma upside down from the rafters and comes back to the stage.)

Ranma: I guess I'll take Name That Laugh for two hundred.

Shessomaru: Very well. For two hundred dollars, name this laugh.

(Insane, female mad-bitch laughing comes from the speakers. Ranma dives behind his podium.)

Ranma: WHO THE HELL LET KODACHI IN HERE?!!

Shessomaru: I'm afraid that while that was a good guess, your answer is incorrect. The answer is Naga the White Serpent from the Slayers series.

Ranma: You mean there's TWO of them?!!???!!!!

Shessomaru: Yes.

Ranma: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Ranma falls to his knees weeping, asking the heavens why they hate him so much. Shessomaru looks at him with an amused grin on his lips.)

Shessomaru: Hmmm, I didn't know that I'd get to torture mortals so much in this job. Perhaps I'll have to let the producers live. Now, since Mr. Saotome is apparently catatonic, Mr. Gulski, the board is yours, and I don't care what you say about it.

Argo:Sigh... alright... how about Cooking for five hundred?

Shessomaru: And the question is, is beef curry toxic?

Argo: (puzzled look) No.

Shessomaru: Are you sure about that?

Argo: Yes.

(Shessomaru snaps his fingers, Rin and Jaken come in dressed in environmental hazard suits carrying a metal container with biological hazard, toxic, poison, and nuclear warning labels on it. Shessomaru takes the container from them and places it in front of Argo, opening it to reveal a relatively normal looking bowl of curry.)

Shessomaru: Now, Mr. Gulski, in order to prove your claim, please sample this curry cooked by one of Mr. Saotome's various fiancées.

(Argo brings a spoonful of curry to his lips and swallows it as Ranma, the Tendos, and the rest of the Saotomes look on in horror. Several seconds pass while Argo just remains standing silently. He pulls out a pad of paper and a pen from his jacket and starts writing.)

Shessomaru: What are you writing, Mr. Gulski?

Argo: My will. Chibodee, please call Rain and tell her to prepare for a food poisoning victim.

Shessomaru: Well, despite the amusement I've derived from your pathetic suffering, I've had as much of you inferior mortals as I can stand, so we're going to Final Jeopardy. And the question is, who is the biggest fool in anime? You have thirty seconds.

(Ranma and Launch write furiously while Argo thinks for a bit before carefully writing down his answer, finishing just seconds before the buzzer goes off.)

Shessomaru: Well, let's see your answers. Ms. Launch, you wrote "That fat worthless pig Oolong", and you wagered... is that legal?

Launch: Only in Nevada, cutie.

(Launch winks at Shessomaru, who looks disturbed and nauseated.)

Shessomaru: Anyway... moving right along... Mr. Saotome, you wrote "That baka father of mine", and you wagered... Shampoo, Ukyou, and Akane?

Ranma:(nods happily) Yep! Gonna get rid of my fiancées! No more drugs! No more spatulas to the head! No more cooking capable of killing a blue whale! Freedom!

Shessomaru: True, but you do realize that if you win, then in order to pay off your wager we'd have to clone those three and engage them to you as well, right?

(Ranma goes pale as Shessomaru smiles, causing everyone to shudder in fear.)

Ranma: Y-y-you-you're k-ki-kidding, right? You... can't really do that, right?

(Shessomaru smirks as Washuu comes out from behind the stage.)

Shessomaru: Let me introduce our technical supervisor, Washuu from Tenchi Muyo.

Washuu: Muh-wha-hahahahahaa! I'm the greatest genius in the universe!

(Washuu goes backstage and Shessomaru smiles widely as Ranma gets a noose ready to hang himself from the ceiling in case he wins.)

Shessomaru: Now, while Ms. Launch shoots me lecherous glances and Mr. Saotome prepares to do himself in finally, let's see what our last contestant wrote before he passes out from food poisoning. And Mr. Gulski, you wrote, "Myself for ever agreeing to appear on this damned show", and you wagered two months on the couch... You really are single minded, aren't you? And the answer is, the fools who've wasted my valuable time amongst you mortals since now I, Shessomaru, must hunt them down and put them all to death painfully and slowly for the outrage of having to treat you humans as equals. That's all for Crossover Celebrity Jeopardy, pray that there's not a next time.

Next show: Kuwabara, Vegeta, and Clover???

Author's Notes: This was just a little something that I had sitting on a floppy disk, unsure if I'd ever use it. This will just be a fic where I put stuff down when inspiration to write my other fics is lacking. I might not even update this or add more chapter unless people want me to. As always, please review, and constructive criticism is always appreciated. Expect updates to my other fics in the enar future. Ja ne minna!


	2. Episode 2: Kuwabara, Vegita, and Clover

**Anime Celebrity Jeoprady**

Author Notes: Look people, I KNOW that they're OOC, that's why it's funny, kapeesh? Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and be assured that I'm working dilligently on getting my other fics updated ASAP. Happy Holidays everyone!

Disclaimer: All characters, places, and other copyrighted material mentioned in this fic are the property of their respective owners, and do not belong to me.

Second Episode: Kuwabara, Vegeta, and Clover

(On a sound stage, various anime and cartoon characters are busily trying to get the set ready for the next show. Whasshu is cackling evilly while she installs a laser defense grid inside the stage lights, Ryouga gets lost in the janitor's closet, and Heero Yuy keeps various weaponry trained on everybody to insure productivity. Finally the stage is set and everybody goes behind the scenes; except for Ryouga, who somehow found his way into the girl's shower room and is busy being turned into a little pile of unrecognizable organic matter by various enraged females, including Asuka Soryu Langley, Lina Inverse, and the Dirty Pair, most of whom Ryouga mistook for Ranma's girl side. Especially Lina since he commented on Ranma shrinking her breasts down. Let us all say a prayer for the poor lost pig's soul. Now, on to business! Jaken is forced onto the stage by Heero at gunpoint.)

Jaken: I have been... "asked" to keep this short. (sweatdrops nervously) From the city of Tokyo-3, I give you your host, Shessomaru-sama!!!

(Shessomarou steps onto the sound stage, only to be mobbed by dozens of rabid fan girls. Heero walks on stage with a gas mask and a shirt with the words "security" on it. He throws several gas grenades into the mass of bodies, causing the fan girls to faint, leaving Shessomaru undamaged save for ripped clothes and lots of lipstick markings. Urd teleports onto the set through one of the tv screens and fixes Shessomaru up in a flash, wearing one of her usual skimpy bodysuits with the words "makeup" on it.)

Shessomaru: Thank you Mr. Yuy, if I actually liked humans you'd be one of them, what with your ruthless personality. And Miss Urd, while I appreciate your timely changing of my garments and restoration of my glorious features, why did you slip your address and a pack of condoms into my pocket?

Urd:(winks seductively) It's called a hint, stud-boy.

Shessomaru:(sweatdrops) This Shessomaru is feeling disturbed. Now, let us get on with this travesty, so that I can find out who these "SEELE" are and kill them all for sponsoring this ridiculous show. Our first guest is the "honorary Spirit Detective", whose stupidity is only exceeded by his misplaced arrogance, laughable honor code, and total lack of power or skill. Feel free to laugh at the moron known as Kuwabaka from the series Yu Yu Hakusho.

Kuwabara: That's The Great Kuwabara, you dumb demon!

(Shessomarou's eyes flash red for a moment, and he lashes out with his energy whip, knocking Kuwabara unconscious.)

Shessomarou: Only I, the magnificent Shessomarou-sama, may address myself as "great", mortal. This sentimental fool will be playing for the Give Kittens a Home fund. Being a dog demon, I'm not at all opposed to giving young felines a good home. (Licks his lips) Now, our second guest will be the prince of the lost Saiyijin race, who has slaughtered entire worlds and crushed all in his way. A vicious, bloodthirsty monster after my own heart, I command you to give an enormous amount of applause for Vegita, from Dragonball Z.

(Vegita storms onto the sound stage, an angry scowl on his face and eyes flashing in rage.)

Vegita: WHAT THE HELL AM I, THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYIJINS, DOING IN THIS PATHETIC HUMAN DUMP?!! (blasts Jaken with an energy blast just for the hell of it)

Shessomaru: (smirking) Oh yes, I definitely like this guest. Prince Vegita will be playing for the Ban the Pan Anti-Frying Pan association.

Vegita: The damn onnas have us in their power as long as they wield those annoying metal circles connected to the metal handles! Those things are a menace to all those with Saiyijin blood! Even Kakarott cowers before his weak human mate and her "Frying Pan of Doom"!!!

Shessomarou: (nods sagely) It sounds like the situation between my pathetic half-brother and that human wench of his that seems to have him in her power. You have my sympathies. And for our final guest, from the annoyingly stereotypical cartoon show, Totally Spies, the shallow, brainless, fashion obsessed, air headed blond, Clover.

(Clover comes on stage and her eyes turn into hearts as she stares dreamily at Shessomarou.)

Shessomarou: (looks nauseated) Dammit, why do human females continuously sully my magnificence with their filthy, unwanted affections? Anyway, this wannabe cheerleader is playing for the Beverly Hills Mall's new salon, why am I not surprised. Now, let us meet the cheering sections. For the still unconscious fool, Kuwabara... well, his teammates did show up, but left in embarrassment from being associated with such an idiot. The only ones remaining are his human sister, who is too busy hanging her head in shame to leave, and the ice apparition Yukina, who let's face it is too naive to know what shame is or to understand what a loser her self-proclaimed boyfriend is.

Yukina: (oblivious, happy smile on her face, not noticing that Kuwabara is unconscious) Do your best Kazuma! I have faith in you!

Shessomaru: (shakes his head sadly) And such a nice non-human girl too. Onto Prince Vegita's cheering section, we have his eternal rival Goku, wife Bulma, and son Trunks. Which brings me to a valid question Vegita, how could a respectable non-human such as you consent to mate with one of the weak human females?

Vegita: (shrugs) We Saiyijins have only three things we consider important. Food, fighting, and fucking. It's been over thirty years since our planet was destroyed, along with all of the Saiyijin females. Even I can't hold out that long, not even out of pride.

Shessomarou: (sweatdrops) Good point. Thank the Kami that there's plenty of female demons out there in case my hormones ever get out of control. And finally, in Clover's cheering section, her equally scatter-brained friends Sam and Alex, and her relatively intelligent and overworked superior, Jerry. Now, quickly onto the categories so that we can get this over with. And the categories are; Things that go Boom, Will this Hurt?, Pointy Objects, Famous Lechers, Giant Robots, Evil Overlords, and finally.... you have got to be kidding me... ughhh... Things that are Cute. (shudders) After the last show, where it took our indecisive contestants hours to finally pick a straw, we decided to switch our selection process to Jenkan, or Rock, Paper, Scissors as the Americans call it. Of course, the idiot Kuwabara ruined that as well by constantly calling the other two on "cheating", so that took hours as well until we finally got sick and tired of his whining and gave him the first turn. Of course, seeing as how he's unconscious, Prince Vegita, you may go first.

Vegita: (arrogantly) Of course I'm going first! I'm the Prince of all Saijiyans, superior to these pathetic, weak humans in every conceivable way!

Shessomaru: (happy smirk) Oh yes, I'm definitely adding you to the small list of people I actually respect. Now, how about Famous Lechers...

Vegita: Roshi.

Shessomaru: That's correct, for two hundred points "Which famous lecher lives alone on a small island out in the middle of the ocean?", the answer is indeed Master Roshi, Goku's teacher in the martial arts. Now, another famous lecher for four hundred...

Vegita: Roshi.

Shessomaru: Once again, correct. "Which lecher has the highest ratio of being slapped or hit by blue haired females?" Finally, for five hundred...

Vegita: Roshi.

Shessomaru: Errrr, good guess, sadly it's incorrect.

Vegita: WHAT?!! HOW CAN THERE POSSIBLY BE A BIGGER LECHER THAN THAT PERVERTED OLD FOOL OF A HUMAN?!!

Shessomaru: As I was about to say, "Which famous lecher works as a mercenary soldier in the series Full Metal Panic?", and the answer was Kurz Weber. Sadly, the board is now yours, Miss Clover.

Clover: (hearts in eyes) And I'm all YOURS, handsome.

Shessomaru: (looks like he's going to hurl) Erk. Just choose a category human wench.

Clover: I'll take Evil Overlords for five hundred.

Shessomaru: Very well, "Which character, famous for destroying an ancient utopian society, and known for her casual cruelty to her underlings, is often referred to as Queen B, or the queen bitch of anime?"

Clover: My math teacher.

Shessomaru: ..... And this would be why you'll never graduate from high school, human. Now, since the ugly human fool is still not capable of coherent speech, Prince Vegita, it's your tur...

Kuwabara: (springing to his feet) Hah! That barely tickled demon! Nobody can beat the great Kuwabara! (totally ignores the fact that he's wobbling on his feet like a drunk)

Shessomaru: (disappointed look) Damn, and here I was hoping that I'd killed him.

Kuwabara: Shut up and give me a question!

Shessomaru: Sigh... Jaken, take a note, slaughter this fool after the show.

Jaken: Yes, Shessomaru-sama!

Shessomaru: Now, to totally humiliate you, although you do a fine job of that all by yourself idiot human, let's go with Things That Are Cute for three hundred.

Vegita: (approving smirk) You are pure evil.

Shessomaru: Thank you. Now, "Which species of small, cute animals that are alien to the planet are easily angered and can multiply rapidly?"

Kuwabara: KITTIES!

Shessomaru: Do you even know the meaning of the word "alien"? No, the answer is the Martian teddy bears, Puuchu, from the series Excel Saga.

Kuwabara: Hey! You got a problem with cats punk?!

Shessomaru: Actually no, I love cats, especially with garlic and Tabasco sauce.

Kuwabara: ........... Huh?

Shessomaru: sigh... I see that I was too subtle for you to understand.

Clover: This guy, is like, a total moron, you know?

Shessomaru: A truly damning statement if I've ever heard one. The board is yours, Vegita.

Vegita: I have a question.

Shessomaru: (curious) Yes?

Vegita: (pointing at Kuwabara) Can I hurt the fool?

Kuwabara: Hey! Who're you calling a fool, shorty?!

Shessomaru: (smirking) Yes, yes you may.

(Vegita starts introducing Kuwabara to the concept known as "The Human Pretzel".)

Shessomaru: Jaken! Get me a recliner and some popcorn so that I can properly enjoy this entertaining spectactle! (Jaken quickly gets a Lazy Boy and a bowl of popcorn, and Shessomarou sits down, eating popcorn and occasionally laughing as another one of Kuwabara's bones snaps. Heero Yuy walks out onto the stage.)

Heero: (typical Heero Yuy glare at the television audience) Due to our host being... occupied... I have been ordered to complete this civilian tansmission. (turns to the contestants, although only Clover's paying attention since Vegeta's too busy trying to invent a 368th way to turn a human being inside out with his bare hands, however she's not really listening since she's too busy drooling over Heero with new little hearts in her eyes) You will follow my orders as you would the established host, (gestures to Shessomarou who's busy giving Vegita tips on how best to skin Kuwabara while leaving him relatively alive) or you will be shot. (Heero points an MP-5 sub-machinegun that he pulled out of nowhere at the contestants, only to have young John Conner from Terminator 2 run onto the set)

John Conner: Hey! No killing! You just can't kill anybody you want to! Besides, this is still a PG-13 fic!

Heero: (scowling) Orders... confirmed. Mission accepted. No fatalities. (puts the gun away) Now then, Miss Clover, since you're the only contestant currently available to answer questions, I'll give you an easy one, Giant Robots for one hundred. "This advanced mobile suit, constructed in Space Colony L-1 by the partially mechanical Dr. J, is made of an indestructibile metal alloy known as Gundanium and hails from the Gundam Wing series, which is actually named after this particualr Gundam, also known as Gundam 01, and is piloted in the first part of the series by the character often referred to as 'the Perfect Soldier', with it's most noticable features being it's Buster Rifle, ability to transform into an aircraft, and it's large wings. Which Gundam is this?" Once again, for one hundred dollars, "Which GUNDAM from the GUNDAM WING series has WINGS?"

Clover: (excited) Oooohhhh, this is easy! EVA Unit 01!

Heero: ........ Omae o korosu. (whips out a pistol and shoots Clover in the kneecaps)

John Conner: (screaming hysterically) Hey! I thought I told you not to kill anyone!

Heero: (slips a pair of sunglasses on and stares at John blankly) She'll live.

Shessomarou: (steps up behind Heero) Excellent work Mr. Yuy, I couldn't have handled the wench better myself. Sadly, Mr. Kuwabara finally passed out from the pain, and it's just no fun to watch human bodies being contorted into unnatural shapes without the accompanying screams of agony. You're dismissed.

Heero: Mission...accomplished. (puts away the pistol and goes backstage again)

Shessomarou: Now, since Mr. Kuwabara will be needing about four decades of intense therapy before he'll be able to drink Jello through a straw, and since Miss Clover is on the ground clutching her kneecaps and making the most lovely screams as she bleeds to death, I think we can go right ahead and skip Final Jeporady and proclaim Prince Vegita the winner.

Vegita: (haughtily) As if there was ever any doubt! Although appearing on this farce they call a television program makes me feel... sullied.

Shessomarou: Take my advice, several dozen long, Long, LOOOOONNNNGGGG showers will help. So fortunately that's all the time we have, tune in next time and I, the great Shessomarou-sama, will personally hunt you down and exterminate you so that your idiocy doesn't further weaken your pathetic race. (calls offstage) Jaken! Come here, I'm in the mood to maim something! (whimpering comes from offstage as the program ends.)

Next Episode: Magneto, Gendo Ikari, and Big Boss, a.k.a. The Worst Father Awards

Author's notes- Ok people, from now on Crossover Celebrity Jeporady is a request based fanfiction. So review and let me know who you want to see in future episodes. This can be any character from any anime, cartoon, manga, comic book, videogame, television show, movie, or book, although I'd appreciate it if we focused on anime and cartoons. If I'm familiar with the character, then I will definitely use them... eventually. Until next time, ja ne!


End file.
